Phantomas Studio

Meme from alixtii
. ..FOUR Winchester brothers? That could be interesting *g*
( Twelve Days of Christmas Thingy...fannish enough to be amusing, methinks )

In other News, I am right now seriously considering giving up on my PhD. I just...Life has moved one and I want different things now, and it all just feels like a huge chainball at my ankle...I'm looking to calm down right now (some paperwork went wrong/was too late, which is why this entry, but the mood and thoughts have been here for a while), and will consider all possibilities. I'd like to accomplish this, it is within my abilities, but it requires a degree of concentration and dedication that...I have not been able to give it. Hence, it turns stressful and becomes a duty instead of a chosen achievement. Mum's cancer and my own MS don't help, no, and I am not - contrary to my own beliefs - Superwoman and can't just take it all in my stride. Silly me, I want a home and be healthy and possibly a baby, right now. Thesis just comes after. Life is too damn short and I have wasted some of it.

I really don't know.

Amazingly, I have realized something (yes, it is that rare an occurence, s nothush from the back!)
The biggest obstacle to my finishing this thesis work is the need for a certain amount of selfishness that simply goes against my habit&instinct. I need to concentrate on this more than on anything else. I need to postpone my checking the f-list and replying to emails/comments after I've done my bit of work, not before. I need to stop worrying about my mum (she fell and broke her wrist, two days ago, btw, she's got a cast from wrist to shoulder) and about my brother, who's left behind to deal with it all.
I need to put myself and this task I put myself to first.
I'm not used to it, I find it very difficult and I don't feel right trying to nurture it. Part of it is just environment, the setting in which I grew up, the way it's shaped me (last of four, everyone going through their thing before me and so on and so forth), part is character (I'm social, I like keeping up with people!I care about you lot, and all the others who are not on LJ needing other means of tracking)...and yes, I know that the whole 'new guy' thing is taking a big chunk of my attention...

But I want to do this. I apologize for the constant whine/focus on it and the (temporary) lack of fandom squee.
Any tips on how to learn to be more selfish welcome!!!

I love how the Uni yo-yos up and down, left and right and so on...they say one thing on one side, another from the other side.

Brilliant.
Question is, wouldn't it be just so much easier for me to just give up?
Why don't I damn DAMN DAMN just give up.

Because I'm a moron, in many ways...*sighs* anyway, I need the help of a die-hard Starsky and Hutch fan, it order to find bits in the series. Anyone can help?

I'll pass the request on to the S&H newsletter eventually, but I wanted to ask to the f-list first.
I am rewatching the whole series (I'm not skipping on work, this is work I love doing!) but there just isn't enough time considering the deadline I have been given, so a little help would be welcome.

Thanks in advance, if you can point me in the right direction/to the right person. *bows*